Tuesday, January 29, 2013

One more time

Yesterday was a hard day. Stressful is more like it. But in the scheme of things, it turned out well. I had been somewhat discouraged with my progress after a choking accident last spring, but putting that into the perspective that the reason the doc avoided the discussion of recovery time when I was in the hospital was that the whole thing was rather dubious. We finally got back to that unanswered question.

Despite recurring feelings of  increasing feebleness and frustration at how long it had been taking to get back up to speed in some things, such as my exercise program, my recovery has been significantly better than most others who survived the same type of accident and went through the same procedures. When you put it like that... We can all hope for miracles, and I have surely been blessed with a few, but at the end of the day, our bodies are mortal. At the end of the day, none of us are going to survive that thing called life. All we can do is the best we can with what we got and where we are at the moment.

One thing I became very aware of in the last months, I felt like, more than any other time I can remember, I felt love, supportiveness, positive energy, thoughts and prayers from so many directions, it was almost as if I could feel it physically washing over me. It was a very powerful feeling. Deep in my soul, I feel like it made a difference. The theme, the site dedication has been on the Magic Stream site for years, but until these last months I never felt its truthfulness so profoundly deep inside my soul.

Dedicated to all those travelers
who share in the one journey
that can never be made alone

Without a doubt, we are in this journey called life together. Never for a minute did I ever feel like I was alone. I have awesome friends and family. I appreciated the visitors, and the cards, and the calls, and the Facebook likes and messages. Suddenly all of those little things, that maybe you hardly give a second thought, but suddenly they were all very important. I wasn't in shape to get around much, so at the end of the day, even if all a person did was click a like when somebody said I hope you feel better, or left a message, I am praying, I looked at every single one of those and I appreciated them all. Somehow, they strengthened me. At the end of the day, none of us can make it alone. No matter how independent any one of us feels, in this journey called life, we are in it together. The love and support of family, friends and neighbors, it all makes a difference. Yesterday I came in, and yes, one more time, I realized I need my army of angels, prayers, and love.

None of that is to wallow in self-pity. It doesn't mean I have time to stop either. There is work to be done. This time I know, when I come home from the hospital, mundane and practical matters, I do not want to come back to a messy house, and since this one is not an accident, and I am in good enough shape to do something about it. I am going to get that done. I should also have time to stock my pantry, make sure my household is in order, and it would be awesome if I somehow managed a wrap on my latest writing project before I went in, that would be cool. Packing a bag for the hospital is so much more sensible than getting there and wishing you had your own toothbrush or even just a book to read. These are all lessons learned. So much to do, so little time.

In the last year, I have sure learned a lot, life is a blessing, it is not a guarantee, every day on this earth is a gift from God, no matter your religion, or however you see God. Life is not a promise, and all we can do is live it the best we can. "Take it to the end of the line" has become my theme song. If I haven't learned another thing in my life, I have learned that the minute you stop living, life is not worth a damn, I know beyond all doubt that I am blessed. Life is indeed good.

Copyright 2013 Regina Pickett Garson

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