"Take it to the end of the line..." The Traveling Wilburys
Mostly I think having a good theme
song helps you get through the day. Much of last year, I wasn't wonderfully
confident I would ever see 2013. Somewhere along the way, I resolved inside, whatever
time I had left, I was going to live it to the max. As the saying goes, "Take
it to the end of the line." Do the best I can with what I got left. What is really important? When
you hit that point, you do some thinking.
If you only had one day left,
how would you spend it? It is a different state of being when you get up in the
morning rushing around because in your mind, you really are not confident you
will ever see another day. To me, this was not a time to weep; I have a lot I
want to get done before I am gone. My sweet daughter thought it was morbid
seeing me rush around trying to get things done as if I really was going to be
gone tomorrow. None of us has a guarantee. To be human is to be mortal. As
surely as we walk this earth, one day we will leave it. All we can do is the
best we can with what we got and the time we got left.
Thinking at least to let go of
the morbidity of it all, I considered a new theme song, then I changed my mind.
"Take it to the end of the line." That's it. That's mine. Whatever
condition you are in, if you don't live life to the max you don't have much at
all. I don't know how many times I have listened to that song, when I would
feel discouraged, I would listen to it one more time to remind me, even though
maybe things were not exactly the way I would like, I do have life and as long
as I am living, I have choices. I reminded myself of that over and over. And
then I would listen to the song again, just to remind myself one more time.
Do you have a theme song,
something you turn on and you turn up loud to get you through the day, to get
you through whatever it is you have to face?
Yesterday was a hard day. Stressful is more like it.
But in the scheme of things, it turned out well. I had been somewhat
discouraged with my progress after a choking accident last spring, but putting
that into the perspective that the reason the doc avoided the discussion of recovery
time when I was in the hospital was that the whole thing was rather dubious. We
finally got back to that unanswered question.
Despite recurring feelings of increasing feebleness and frustration at how
long it had been taking to get back up to speed in some things, such as my
exercise program, my recovery has been significantly better than most others
who survived the same type of accident and went through the same procedures.
When you put it like that... We can all hope for miracles, and I have surely
been blessed with a few, but at the end of the day, our bodies are mortal. At
the end of the day, none of us are going to survive that thing called life. All
we can do is the best we can with what we got and where we are at the moment.
One thing I became very aware of in the last months,
I felt like, more than any other time I can remember, I felt love,
supportiveness, positive energy, thoughts and prayers from so many directions,
it was almost as if I could feel it physically washing over me. It was a very
powerful feeling. Deep in my soul, I feel like it made a difference. The theme,
the site dedication has been on the Magic Stream site for years, but until
these last months I never felt its truthfulness so profoundly deep inside my
soul.
Dedicated to all those travelers
who share in the one journey
that can never be made alone
Without a doubt, we are in this journey called life together.
Never for a minute did I ever feel like I was alone. I have awesome friends and
family. I appreciated the visitors, and the cards, and the calls, and the
Facebook likes and messages. Suddenly all of those little things, that maybe
you hardly give a second thought, but suddenly they were all very important. I
wasn't in shape to get around much, so at the end of the day, even if all a
person did was click a like when somebody said I hope you feel better, or left
a message, I am praying, I looked at every single one of those and I
appreciated them all. Somehow, they strengthened me. At the end of the day,
none of us can make it alone. No matter how independent any one of us feels, in
this journey called life, we are in it together. The love and support of
family, friends and neighbors, it all makes a difference. Yesterday I came in, and
yes, one more time, I realized I need my army of angels, prayers, and love.
None of that is to wallow in self-pity. It doesn't
mean I have time to stop either. There is work to be done. This time I know, when
I come home from the hospital, mundane and practical matters, I do not want to
come back to a messy house, and since this one is not an accident, and I am in
good enough shape to do something about it. I am going to get that done. I
should also have time to stock my pantry, make sure my household is in order,
and it would be awesome if I somehow managed a wrap on my latest writing
project before I went in, that would be cool. Packing a bag for the hospital is
so much more sensible than getting there and wishing you had your own
toothbrush or even just a book to read. These are all lessons learned. So much
to do, so little time.
In the last year, I have sure learned a lot, life is
a blessing, it is not a guarantee, every day on this earth is a gift from God,
no matter your religion, or however you see God. Life is not a promise, and all
we can do is live it the best we can. "Take it to the end of the line"
has become my theme song. If I haven't learned another thing in my life, I have
learned that the minute you stop living, life is not worth a damn, I know
beyond all doubt that I am blessed. Life is indeed good.
